7 Habits of Highly Effective Christians #7

Habit:  Personalized leadership

Verse:  “And he [Andrew] brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John.  You will be called Cephas.’ (which, when translated, is Peter [rock]).”  John 1:42

Everyone is different. They have differing needs, intellectual, and emotional capacities, temperaments, life stories, motivations, and levels of self-esteem. Therefore, to be an effective, leaders need to lead each person differently.

When I was a school superintendent I worked for a seven member school board. Each board member was very different and I learned to use personalized leadership to be effective. Three member loved facts and figures so that’s what I provided to them. Another three members were more concerned about people than facts and figures. I would make sure that on any issue they knew the probable impact on students, teachers, and parents. The seventh board member liked action. So we would make off-site visits to other school districts who were already doing what we were considering. In other words, I personalized my leadership to match the board member.

Bible:  Jesus is the preeminent Servant Leader.  He served others by personalizing His leadership based on the needs of the person or group being led.  He led by practicing two kinds of love – tender love and tough love.  Tender love is bringing out the best in others through encouragement, empowerment, and envisioning. Tough love is telling someone something they don’t want to hear based on compassion, caring and concern. You can see this principle in action throughout the Gospels, especially in the life of Peter.

A walk on the wild side: The Twelve were in the middle of the lake, straining against the wind, and making little progress.  Jesus came to them walking on the water.  Peter impulsively asked the Lord to allow him to walk on the water.  Jesus told him to come, and Peter started walking on the water!  Tender love.  Then Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, became afraid, and started to sink.  He called to Jesus to save Him, and the Lord did.  Then Jesus said, “You of little faith … why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31b).  Tough love.

Peaks and Pits:  Jesus asked, “Who do you say that I AM?” Matthew 16:15.  Peter replied that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God.  Jesus blessed Peter and said, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My Church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it” Matthew 16:17.  Tender love.  A few moments later Peter rebuked Jesus for talking about His imminent death.  Jesus rebuked Peter by telling him that his advice came from Satan as a stumbling block to Him.  Tough love.

Betrayal and restoration:  Peter vowed to go to prison and to die with the Lord.  Jesus told him that before the evening was over, he would deny Him three times.  When it happened as Jesus foretold, Jesus turned and looked straight at Peter who broke down, fled and wept bitterly.  Tough love.  Later, after His resurrection, Jesus cooked breakfast for the apostles on the beach.  Three times Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him, and each time Peter answered that Jesus knew that he loved Him.  Three times Jesus told Peter to feed and take care of His sheep.  Tender love.

Application:   You are a leader.  In some area of your life, you lead others – at home, school, work, church and community.  Jesus led by serving others at their point of need.  He took them where they were and personalized His leadership by practicing tender love and tough love.  Think of a person you lead – a family member, another student, a co-worker, a fellow Christian, or a friend.  What do they need from you right now?  Tender love?  Tough love?  Both?

Prayer
“Lord, I want to lead people as You lead me.  Give me discernment and wisdom in sensing people’s needs and meeting them in love – tender, tough or both.  Amen.”

© 2013 Designed to Serve®

Note: This is the final post in this current series. The next series will be Rock My Relational World.

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