Wedding Bell Blessings: Marriage

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

“Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

“If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”

“He said you’re going to die,” she replied.*

According to some researchers, 50% of all first marriages end in divorce, as do 67% of second marriages, and 75% of third marriages. Moreover, the divorce rate among Christian couples is similar to the national average.

Marriage is hard. Whenever two “sinners” are in such close relational proximity there’s likely to be fireworks. It takes hard work to have a good marriage. Each partner must give more than 50-50; it takes 100% effort on both sides to make a marriage work.

How can believers build a fulfilling marriage? I don’t have a list of sure-fire steps, but here are six helpful suggestions:

Make Christ the center of your marriage.  Unless Jesus Christ is the Lord of your individual lives, your marriage will be like a bicycle with only one wheel – unstable, stationary, and ready to topple over. As each spouse individually moves closer to Christ, the couple will naturally draw nearer to one another.

Make your spouse your top priority in life, second only to your personal relationship with Christ. A man wants a wife who is on his side no matter what; a woman wants a husband who cherishes her above all else.

Pray together. The couple that prays together stays together. Certainly, pray together over meals. But also pray about your marriage, your children, your finances, the challenges you face, and anything else that’s important.

Talk things through when there’s conflict. “… Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26). Without doubt, husbands and wives will get angry at one another, but don’t sweep things under the carpet. Talk it out until you resolve the issue. If you get stuck, put things on hold until you’re both ready to come together.

Assume your spouse has good intentions. Believe the best about your spouse, for except when a marriage is really in trouble, your spouse is not intentionally out to “get you.”

Do fun things together. Find activities you both enjoy and build them into your schedule. Maybe it’s an inexpensive dinner. Or a casual walk. Perhaps it’s going out for coffee. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should be a time when the two of you can talk and have fun. Whatever it is, intentionally establish a regular “date night.”

Marriage can be either heaven or hell on earth. Which one it is depends on what you choose to make it. Love your spouse with all your heart. Give your spouse your best each and every day. When times are tough, believe in better days to come. When times are great, celebrate the goodness of God.

* A story available on many internet sites

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