Wedding Bell Blessings: Engagement

Tom had proposed to Mary and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. “Do you think you that you earn enough money to support a family?” asked Mary’s dad. “Yes, Sir,” replied Tom, “I’m sure I do.” “Think carefully now,” said the father. “There are eight of us…”

A marriage proposal is a serious matter. It immediately changes your relationship status, how you’re addressed, and your entire future. You move from courtship to engagement, friend to fiancée, and a future alone to a future together.

On March 22, 2012 I proposed to my now wife, Connie Rojas and she accepted. I intentionally chose a place that is meaningful to both of us, Glencoe Beach, on the shores of Lake Michigan near Chicago.

Connie stood at the end of the pier looking out at the lake with me facing her as I read Proverbs 18:22. “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” I then knelt down on one knee and said these words: “Connie, I love you with all my heart. I know God brought us together for this reason. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” and she said … “Yes.” We were married on October 6, 2012.

Listed below are four suggestions before making a marriage proposal:

Only propose when you sense God’s approval
The odds are stacked against you unless you make Christ the center of your engagement and marriage. Read the beautiful story in the Book of Ruth of the courtship and engagement of Ruth and Boaz. Although God is never mentioned in the text, it’s evident that He was at work through Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, in bringing these two people together. Is there evidence in your relationship that God is moving the two of you together?

Only propose when you’re sure the answer is “yes”
A marriage proposal should come at the end of a courtship where the two of you have spent a lot of time together getting to know one another. Men: you know if the woman loves you. Believe me – She will make her feelings for you abundantly clear. Women: you know if this is the man of your dreams – the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Only propose when you’ve asked for the blessing of the woman’s parents
This sounds really old-fashioned, but it’s a vital step in a successful engagement and future marriage. Although I’m 60 years old, I still went to Connie parents and asked them for their daughter’s hand in marriage. It was respectful of her parents, meaningful for me, and a blessing for all of us. Remember: you not only marry the person, you marry the family!

Only propose when you have a plan to make the proposal memorable
Guys – be creative. More importantly – be romantic. You get one shot at the proposal – so don’t blow it. It’s a story that will be told for years to come. The key is to think of what would be most meaningful and memorable for the woman. Listening to beautiful music over a romantic dinner by candlelight? Being in a favorite place or doing something you both love to do? The possibilities are endless so think outside the box. And know what you’re going to say before you say it. You’ll feel more confident and she’ll cherish your words forever.

Engagement is a wonderful time of making concrete plans for the wedding, honeymoon, and future. But it all starts with the marriage proposal. Make it special for the two of you – and unique to your relationship.

© 2012 Designed to Serve