Wedding Bell Blessings: Courtship

Every person wants to know and be known, to love and be loved. As Dusty Springfield sang so many years ago, “Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying …” *

You wish for it, hope for it, think about it, and pray for it. And then, one day, someone comes along who you believe will make your dreams come true. The process is started: Courtship leads to Engagement that results in Marriage. But it all begins with Courtship.

There’s nothing quite as sweet as falling in love. It’s a magical time that should be enjoyed and treasured. Finally, you’ve found someone special! And all seems right with the world. The sky is bluer; your heart is lighter; and time seems to stand still. You’re in love, and the person you desire is in love with you.

And so begins the dance of courtship. My advice is to spend time – lots of time – getting to know one another. Don’t move too quickly through this important phase or you’ll regret it. Whirlwind romance leads to whirlwind damage.

Who is this person you love? What does he or she believe? Does your loved one know Christ personally? What is his or her life story? How does your intended get along with family and friends? Does the individual know what – and are they dealing with – the relational and emotional wounds in their life?

Take time to know the person’s strengths and weaknesses – their likes and dislikes. Do the two of you have chemistry? How about compatibility? Are you able to work through conflict successfully? Don’t rush things! Allow the relationship to grow organically over time and through shared experiences.

Truthfully, there is so much to know that you can – and maybe will – spend the rest of your life finding out about your beloved. The more you discover, the more you’ll realize how much you don’t know. In fact, you’ll likely never fully know the heights, widths, lengths, and depths of the person who is your partner.

Courtship is the time to build a strong foundation for the future. Like any building, the better the foundation, the stronger the structure. If you don’t build your relationship the right way, eventually the cracks and stress fractures will appear. Your relationship will suffer, and may ultimately falter and fail.

Enjoy the beauty and wonder of courtship, for love is the greatest power the world has ever known. Remember that Jesus Christ loved you so much that He gave His life for you. And you must also come to the point where you would willingly lay down your life for your beloved.

* Wishin’ and Hopin’. (1963) Hal David and Burt Bacharach

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