Rogue Waves #7

When the Rogue Wave hits – when the bad news comes – our first reaction is always shock. One minute life is unfolding as usual; but in an instant – without any warning – life becomes anything but usual.

The degree of shock depends on the magnitude of the Rogue Wave. If the news is merely distressing, the shock will last for awhile, perhaps a few days. But if the news is truly devastating, the shock may last for weeks, months, or even years.

When a hundred foot Rogue Wave hits, God has designed us to move quickly from shock to surrealism. In those moments, life becomes dreamlike. We tend to say things like, “This can’t be happening to me.” Or, “This all must be a bad dream.” Except it’s not a dream; rather, it’s reality become a nightmare.

When we experience a tremendous shock, God has designed our emotional system to shut down. We quickly move from shock to surrealism to emotional numbness. This automatic process is an emotional safety valve so that we aren’t overwhelmed by overwhelming grief. We literally don’t feel anything. Our emotions become frozen. This too may last for quite awhile.

Eventually the numbness wears off and we start to feel our emotions flowing once again. It’s at this point that tears begin to pour out like a fountain. Voltaire wrote, “Tears are the silent language of grief.” Someone else added, “Tears are words the heart can’t express.”

When the tears start to flow, you have a choice. You can let the tears flow freely or shut off the faucet instantaneously. It’s your choice. But choices have consequences, and this decision is no different. Tears expressed will bring eventual inner healing to your soul; but tears suppressed will bring eventual inner damage to your body.

If you do not cry – and stay in your sadness – you will ultimately make yourself sick. You may develop colitis, an ulcer, anxiety attacks, or a number of other ailments. Unexpressed grief will cause serious internal damage that might have long-term consequences. We were not designed to suppress sadness. One thing is certain – grief will always find a way to be expressed – either positively or negatively.

The healthiest choice is to allow your tears to flow whenever tears begin to fall. Don’t force them to come; rather, allow them to overflow whenever they begin. It doesn’t matter where you are – in public or in private – let your tears flow. If you’re in a public place, move to a more private location. But above all else, don’t stop crying once your tears begin to fall. And as your tears begin to subside, don’t force yourself to continue. The key point is to listen to your body and respond accordingly.

Pastor Charles Swindoll wrote, “A teardrop on earth summons the King of heaven.” Once your tears have stopped, invite God to be part of the healing process. Tell Him about your pain. Share with Him your sorrow. And pour out to Him your grief. Claim God’s promise in Psalm 34:18. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” He will never leave you nor forsake you. The Lord is near and will bless each fallen tear. For tears bring healing.