Possible Barriers to Purpose: Your Spouse #4

Do you remember the childhood rhyme: “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream?” I said it a lot as a boy for one simple reason: I like ice cream. Most people do.

We didn’t have 31 flavors back then, so my favorite was Neapolitan. For those unfamiliar with that flavor, it’s actually 3 flavors of ice cream – chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. It wasn’t mixed together; rather, the ice cream was divided by flavor into equal thirds. In my family you could ask for any combination of flavors – one, two, or all three.

A fourth possible barrier to living out your purpose is “Neapolitan Purposes.” This happens naturally when both husband and wife are living out their unique purposes. You can end up with any combination of “flavors” – chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, or all three together. None of them is better or worse than the others. But each of them presents their own unique challenges.

Contrary Purposes
In this flavor husband and wife have opposing views on a social issue. It happens when the Bible doesn’t state a position or where each side cites passages that support their viewpoint. For example, there is no agreement in the Church on the issue of immigration reform. One spouse may passionately believe that we must help the aliens among us. The other may be equally passionate about enforcing the prescribed legal steps toward citizenship.

Compartmental Purposes
This flavor occurs when both spouses have separate, distinct passions that do not conflict. For example, one spouse may have a deep desire for teenagers to remain pure. The other might be passionate about caring for the homeless. The two passions don’t conflict, but they also don’t relate.

Compatible Purposes
This type of flavor happens when both spouses have similar, but not identical, passions. For example, one spouse may have a deep desire for children to come to Jesus Christ. The other visits the local jail and witnesses to prisoners about Jesus Christ. Both spouses have a passion for evangelism. The only difference is the group of people they each want to reach.

Carbon Copy Purposes
The ideal is when both husband and wife have the identical passion to impact the same audience. Honestly, this doesn’t happen very often; but when it does, the husband and wife can make a powerful team. For example, a couple may both long to use their vocal abilities to lead the congregation is singing worship choruses.

Whichever “flavor” you are, the key is to be supportive of your spouse. Then “you’ll scream, your spouse will scream, you both will scream for ‘ice cream.’”